First Fast Sunday of 2011

Wow! Life does throw curve balls. This quiet Sunday morning finds me struggling a little. I feel so letdown that things aren't turning out quite how I had envisioned. We do have a lot of blessings and that is what I need to concentrate on today in order to bury disappointment and perplexing events. The holidays are gone and a new year lies ahead. It will be what I make it to be. I am retired and have time to do things which have been put on the back burner. The first on my list is to edit my old missionary journals from 1976 to 1978. Writing was a therapy for me as a young woman in the mission field. Maybe I can discover why missions have to be almost impossibly difficult.

I do believe that God is in the details of our lives. I also believe He respects our agency and won't interfere unless we give Him some sort of entrance - a prayer, a thought, a desire, a hope. I recently read, "The Lord is voting for me, and Lucifer is voting against me, but it is my vote that counts." With a heart heavy with discouragement, I am determined to find a way to be useful doing, hopefully, what the Lord might desire of me. There are so many things - family research, studying, volunteering, serving.

And since no one ever reads this blog, I think I am safe in writing, for therapeutic purposes, what's on my mind and in my heart. But I will try to pretend that someone IS reading and think of something uplifting I might say or express to encourage and uplift another's heavy heart.